The Groft Zoo

That is the sound of the roller coaster as it moves slowly to the top of the hill for the big swish down the other side.  (As  die hard roller coaster hater, I tend to avoid that sound, but I have experienced a few.)

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And that is the sound I am hearing as we gear up to start school this week.  It’s a happy time, not a feeling of dread, but this week is the start of a New Year.  This is much more my New Year’s Day than January 1st.  Once it begins we will be off and rolling with loops and quick turns and no real time to catch our breath for a while.  The kids are happy too, ready to see their friends again every day, excited about their new teachers (most of them, anyway) and just DYING to use the fresh new crayons, markers, and pencils that they have been labeling and organizing over the last week.

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I’m feeling a little overwhelmed myself.  I spent most of the week on the couch, slowly recovering from sepsis and gaining a tiny bit more energy each day.  I am so grateful for friends who are cooking for us, I don’t think I have ever relied on that so heavily as now.  Friends are also pitching in for rides for the kids this week, to help me rest.  I am sure that will make a huge difference as well.  (THANK YOU ALL!!!)  But I am looking forward to the renewed structure of our days, even as I will miss our lazy evenings in the pool.  And the days will get easier as I feel better and better too, at least until baby comes and then I will have to slow down again.

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So Happy New Year, everyone!  I hope your year is as blessed as can be!

There is never a dull moment around here.  I can’t tell you what I would give for a dull moment.

Last Monday, July 25, I woke up feeling off.  I had a fairly nasty backache that radiated around to the front on one side.  But since I was 28 weeks pregnant, a backache is not that far outside of normal.  I took a shower and got the kids dressed and doing their thing and then put my feet up for a bit, thinking I had probably just overdone it a bit over the busy weekend.  Drinking lots of water, laying down, putting my feet up all made little difference in the pain.  But it was manageable and later in the day I took a few kids over to target to pick up some school supplies and just get out of the house.  I had a meeting at church to attend that evening, but I figured that if I didn’t feel up to it, I would just stay home and rest.

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Dinner time came and I wasn’t feeling any worse, so I went to the meeting, squirming a little in discomfort through it.  On the way home one of my front tires blew out.  Fun.  I was able to limp the car home and told Jay about the tire.  He immediately set to work putting on the spare, in what was to prove to be a very good decision.  While he did that I lay on the couch and iced my back and watched an episode of Torchwood to distract me from the now growing pain.

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By the time Jay came in I was in tears.  We discussed for a few minutes and he decided that it sounded a lot like his kidney stone and that it was time to go to the ER.  So, leaving Posy in charge, we headed to the closest hospital to our home, PBH.

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Being hugely pregnant has the benefit of getting you shuttled straight into triage and from there we were pretty quickly sent up to L&D for monitoring.  By the time they got the monitors hooked up, I was in agony, and the monitors didn’t help at all, tight against the band of pain.  They called in an ultrasound guy, who confirmed a kidney stone.  They admitted me to the hospital then, gave me a shot of morphine (which did nearly nothing) and started IV fluids and a catheter so they could just flush as much fluid through me as possible.  Jay stayed with me late into the night and then went home to be around for the little kids in the morning.

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I made it through the night with more morphine (IV this time, which worked better) and only sporadic sleep.  Jay returned in the morning and kept me company as I dozed on and off.  At one point in the morning, I felt complete relief and hoped that meant the stone had passed.  Shortly after that, I began to shake with chills.  Blood was taken for culture right away to see what was causing it, but the results of that would have to wait.  They gave me tylenol, and we began a roller coaster ride of fever that was to last the next two days.  Tylenol would bring my fever down and one to two hours later it would be back up to 103, with me shaking violently, unable to rest, and hours before they could give me any more.  That evening (Tuesday) I was given an x-ray with contrast.  During the x-ray I absolutely could not breathe while laying down and shook uncontrollably, causing them to have to take two more films just to get me still enough.

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My blood pressure began to waver and drop, and breathing became harder.  I figured it was just from the fever, or from laying in bed so long with my big belly.  During the night I was taken for fetal monitoring again, and the baby’s heart rate was showing his stress from the fever and low blood pressure.  He was hovering between  170 and 190 most of that time.  Once back in my room, I tried to sleep again, only to wake up completely unable to stop shaking or catch my breath.  The nurses monitored my vitals and, while my O2 was only at 92%, told me that I was having a panic attack and just needed to breath slower and wait until I could take the tylenol again.  I resolved not to take any more of the morphine in case that was making it harder to breathe and spent the next hours just trying to breath and not shake too hard.

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The next morning Jay brought the kids in to see me.  Thankfully it was just after a dose of tylenol, so I wasn’t feeling too terrible at that time.  They were a little scared of the whole situation and didn’t know what to make of it, especially Molly, who wouldn’t even let me hold her.  As our visit wound to a close, I began to shake again and head downhill.

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A little while later, the resident came in to tell me the preliminary results of the blood culture.  She was alarmed at how much worse I looked and told me that the culture showed Urosepsis, a very serious blood infection.  She told me they were going to transfer me to SJH, a hospital with a better ICU and NICU so that I could get the care I needed.

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Then things started to happen fast.  She left the room and 5 nurses came in and packed up all my stuff, transferred me to a gurney and moved me to L&D triage to monitor the baby and wait for the transfer.  While in triage, I was given a shot of steroids to mature the baby’s lungs and FINALLY someone gave me some oxygen.  My O2 levels were low, my blood pressure was hovering around 80/45 and my fever was around 103.

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After a short wait there, I was loaded into an ambulance for a painful, bumpy ride to the other hospital.  Laying down made it so much harder to breathe, and I was laying down the whole way, even if it was with oxygen, bumping along in the hot ambulance.

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The first thing I saw at the new hospital was Jay.  What a comfort his voice was!  Once inside I was brought immediately to their perinatal high risk ward and swarmed again with nurses and doctors.  To the IV and catheter were added a blood pressure cuff, oxygen mask, pulse oximeter, two fetal monitors, and several bags of ice.  The next hours are a blur of them adjusting things, fussing over me, and not being really too sure exactly what was going on.  Jay was there and made some phone calls to update people.  Fr. Lopez came and gave me the Anointing of the Sick.  A few others were in and out.  (I found out later that friends at our parish had held a Rosary for me in the evening, too.)

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Night came eventually and I could only fitfully sleep.  I had to make Jay go home and get some rest.  He had been up with me most of two nights so far, with Paisley and the other kids doing their best to keep things going at home.  Every time I moved the nurses had to come in and readjust the fetal monitor and there were constant alarms over my low blood pressure.  The medicine they gave me seemed to finally be working though, because my fever didn’t return.  Thursday was much more of the same, only at a slower pace.  Constant monitoring of everything, more blood tests and ultrasounds.  But there were fewer and fewer blood pressure alarms and only my breathing seemed to still be giving me real problems.   I spent most of Thursday still on the oxygen just so I didn’t feel like I was suffocating.  I was also unable to eat, but the doctors weren’t at all worried about that.  They said my appetite would return as my body healed.

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Late Thursday afternoon I was moved to a bed in the Antenatal unit, which was lovely because it was a real bed and not just a thin little gurney.  The doctors were still trying to figure out exactly which bacteria they were treating, so I was still on a range of meds through the IV, but they were content that I was making progress enough to not need minute to minute monitoring anymore.  Finally, I was able to get some sleep.

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Friday finally all the tubes and such were removed and I was switched to oral antibiotics but had to remain under close supervision in case the fever came back at all.  I was still unable to eat anything and still struggling to breathe, but my O2 was stable and my blood pressure was getting better, so we just chalked it up to rest and time.  Jay brought the kids in that evening for a visit.  It was so good to see them and made me so homesick.  Saturday, they said I could go home if I was still not running a fever by 3pm.  I wasn’t, however, the kidney pain popped back up bringing a dark cloud on the horizon.  Still the decision was made to let me go home.  I was so relieved.

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The kidney pain is still coming and going, mostly mild right now. But it is a threat and could stir up this whole storm all over again.  I will be kept on antibiotics for the rest of my pregnancy in hopes of preventing a recurrence of the sepsis, and then once the baby comes we will be able to get rid of the kidney stone itself.  For now, I am utterly exhausted and spend a good part of my time sleeping or resting.  I am told it will take a few weeks for me to really be well again.  Jay has been such a rock through all of this – keeping things moving at home with the help of the kids while still staying at my side every possible second he could.  Our Church community has come through with a few weeks of meals so that I can rest and recuperate, and our kids have been nothing short of amazing.  Paisley especially for her help even on long work days, Posy, James and Ben have all handled snacks, entertainment, naps, swimming, and bedtimes like the pros.

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Thank you to everyone for your prayers, visits, meals, help around the house, and other wonders you have shown me.  Your generosity knows no bounds.  I am truly humbled to have such friends and receive your help.