Jay and I had a lovely escape to Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. One of the little booklets in our hotels room had us rolling with laughter. Yes, I suppose we are easy to entertain, but this little restaurant review booklet was hilarious. Whoever wrote it was heavily addicted to quotation marks. Here are a couple of examples:
Olives
The terrace view “overlooking the water show” is “nothing short of magnificent”, though a seat in the now-“more-open” interior of Todd English’s “remodeled” Mediterranean is no booby prize; this Bellagio outpost offers “original tastes, skillfully prepared”, so “you can’t go wrong for lunch” featuring “wonderful appetizers, salads and pizzas”, sided by “delicious olive tapenade”, bolstered by a “wicked-good tail” and chased by a “chocolate fallen cake that will lift anyone’s spirits” – even if the service is “sloooow.”
Blackstone’s Steakhouse
“When you want to be part of the old boys’ network”, sink into a “high-backed armchair” or “deep booth” at this “dark”, “red” beefery in the Monte Carlo on the Strip, have an “excellent” waiter bring you the “stellar wine list”, an “incredible T-bone” or “fantastic prime rib” and enjoy a “quiet”, “classic” meal; the only diners “disappointed” here are the ones “who order fish.”
I would type out some more but my quotation mark key is starting to cry.
I should note however that this booklet has 88 entries, almost all of which have random quotes throw all over them. I did find two entries that inexplicably didn’t have any quotes at all though – must have been a fluke.