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House Fire Update

Paisley is doing okay. She found some pictures and her journal in her room and seemed to take a lot of comfort from finding those. Her room is just unrecognizable. It is amazing. You can hardly tell what you are looking at.

Even though the fire was confined to her room, the heat wasn’t. I found a calandar hanging in the hall by my bedroom door and it was ripped and charred. There are plastic things in the little kids’ room that are melted. This is the room farthest from Paisley’s room.

Miraculously, the school room, right next to Paisley’s room, even the other side of the wall from where they think the fire started – is the least damaged, and the corner where my pictures are kept… is smoke damaged but intact!!!! My pictures will be okay!!!! My guardian angel must have gotten me safely out of the house and flown up to protect these treasures of my heart! Thank you, God!!!

I will keep you posted as things happen, there is not much else for me to do. I can’t be at the hosue because I don’t want Max exposed to the fumes. I had to wear a mask just to go inside, and even then it was horrible! Jay has been there most of the day to let construction, cleaning and insurance people in and out. Neither of us could sleep last night just thinking of the possibilities. Tessa had a fretful night too, and has become more and more clingy.

Paisley and James are going back to school tomorrow. I think they want some normality to their lives and they need the support of their friends right now.

You know, if this had to happen to anyone, we were good people for to happen to. We are surrounded by incredibly loving and supportive friends and family. God is incredibly good to us. I don’t know if it is just that I am in shock or if it is that we are so insulated by the love of our friends – I just can’t be very upset right now. It all boils down to an incredible inconvenience. And even though there will be some things that will be missed eventually, we have wanted for nothing so far. (Except for pillows – but that was the fault of the hotel.) There are so many out there who have no one. Max’s (future) Godfather showed up on the scene before the fire was even out just o make sure that we were okay and offer his help!

Seeing the house – A Friend’s Descrption

I saw the house this morning. It’s like a horror movie. The entire contents of all four bedrooms need to be replaced. Toys, clothes, furniture. They have good insurance, but there are things that come up during the day…like, they are staying at a hotel without a fridge or a table to eat at; I am trying to round up snack foods, water bottles, juice boxes, etc. Things that can sit out, KWIM?

All their food will need to be thrown away…the whole place reeks. Paisley’s room is a black, charred mess; the other bedrooms are soot stained with black water stains on all the walls. Toys are melted on shelves; clothes are horribly smelly–the ones that didn’t burn, anyway.

The downstairs is pretty much salvedgable, and the schoolroom with photographs looks pretty good. They’ll be out of the house for 6 weeks at least.

It is heartbreaking. I took the three middle kids home with me yesterday while smoke was pouring out of the second story, to get them away from the scene. It was on all the news stations.

They have a divine mercy wall hanging in the stairwell; it is black with water stains running down the wall from it. It looks almost satanic.

House Fire

The kids and I were waking up this morning around 7:15, I got Max’s diaper changed and put some clothes on him. I was about to had him off to Posy and jump in the shower, but was sitting on the end of my bed talking to the kids a little bit when I smelled something funny. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. Then I looked up and saw smoke start to pour into my bedroom! I just yelled out, “The house is on fire!” and told the kids we were getting out. As we ran to the stairs I could see light in the bathroom and in Paisley’s room, but didn’t stop to see where the fire was coming from.

I got the kids out the door, set Max in his car seat (which was right by the front door, with a blanket inside it, THANK GOD!) Then I ran back into the house to get my phone. I called 911, grabbed a blanket and Ben’s shoes, and my car keys and went back outside. I put the kids in the van to help keep them warm while we waited for the fire dept. to get there.

So that is how it all happened.

Ben was wearing his underwear and a jacket that I grabbed on the way out the door, Tessa had jammies and bare feet, Posy had jammies and bare feet, and I was in my pajamas too! (The other kids were at school and Jay was at work.) We literaly left with the clothes on our backs. Kathi came and picked up everyone but Max. The paramedics checked Max out just to be sure, and he was fine.

The fire seems to have started in Paisleys room. The whole upstairs is pretty much ruined, with pretty extensive smoke damage downstairs too. Jay is there with the Ins adjuster and dealing with whoever else – constuction companies, public adjusters… this is a new labrynth to us.

We are both just kind of lost and feeling unable to make any decisions right now. I just keep going back to the fact that we are all fine and no one was hurt at all. Thank you God!!!

New Year’s Resolution

The last three years I have picked out a “virtue” or something that I want to work on in myself. The first year it was Peace, last year was Diligence, this year I have picked Sacrifice. I know that those aren’t really virtues per se. But it is easier for me to simply remember one little word and renew my focus.

I chose sacrifice this year because I suck at it. I am horrible about giving things up and I am horrible about keeping my focus on God instead of the small stuff in my life.

This year for Christmas, Posy gave me a painted wooden heart that says “Mom” in slightly lopsided letters. It occured to me that each day my life makes a gift to God. Sometimes the best gift I can give him looks more like a black-marker-scribble on a piece of scrap paper, some days it is a painted, lopsided heart done with the best of intentions, some days I manage to churn out a masterpiece. But my masterpiece days are few and far between. I have more lopsided hearts. But the important thing is that I am offering it to Him as my gift, no matter how imperfect. If I get frustrated and throw away my work I am just spinning my wheels, getting burned out, and not doing any good.

So in these days of not getting anything done but holding a baby and praying that the other kids don’t kill each other or our house collapse from mess, I have to remember to make the best effort I can and offer it freely and lovingly to my Father in heaven.

I hung the heart that Posy gave me up in my bathroom, where I wash my hands after every diaper change. 🙂 So I will see it and be reminded of it many times a day.

I would love to lose weight, handle money better, be a better homeschooler, mom, wife, and friend. I don’t intend to neglect those things. But when I lose my focus this year I will picture that heart and remind myself that I need to be a living sacrifice.

Max’s Birth Story

Max was a little undecided about what day he wanted to be born. On the 22nd of December, from about 12:30AM, I had some pretty regular, fairly strong contractions. I just laid in bed, timing some of the and breathing through them, waiting for them to get just a little bit stronger and then I would wake Jay up. But sometime between 3 and 4 AM they petered out and I fell back to sleep.

The next night, I was wakened to stronger, more regular contractions at around 12:30 AM. I waited to see if they stayed strong, and woke Jay up about a half hour later. We called the midwife and started filling the pool.

Carol, our midwife, arrived at around 1:30 and found that I was dilated to about 5, and 90% effaced, so it looked like things were finally on a roll. Kathi arrived around two, and Jay’s mom around 2:30. Jay’s mom was there to care for the kids, especially Tessa, who still wakes up sometimes at night. So she went up and slept in their room. Kathi worked on getting one year old Emily back to sleep.

I did some walking around the house, and labored a little bit on my side. When Carol checked me at around 4:30 I was dilated to 6 and Max had moved a bit lower. Around 6 AM, I sat down to rest in the rocker for a while, and the contractions came to a complete halt. Carol said she thought my body was just too tired to keep going, and sent me to bed to try and get some sleep. She went to sleep in our schoolroom for a while. I woke up at 7:30 to some serious contractions, but over the next hour, they stopped again. I was so tired and depressed. All that time laboring seemed to be for nothing.

When Carol woke up she said that I probably had regressed back to 4 or 5 cm dilation, since I wasn’t actively contracting. She gave me a hug and headed home to her family, giving me instructions just to spend the day resting.

The night of the 23rd/24th I woke up at 1 AM, and my first thought was, “Oh no, here we go again.” I quickly realized that I was not contracting at all and settled quickly back to sleep thinking that we would all get a good night’s rest. But alas, it was not to be… I woke again at 2:30 AM on the 24th to some really mind blowing, serious contractions. I woke Jay up right away, I could barely think. He called Carol and set about warming up the pool. (Carol had said to leave it set up for up to 24 hours.) Once he had that underway he came back up and helped me come downstairs. I lay on the couch and shook through each contraction, and even in between. I couldn’t tell if I was cold or if it was just part of the labor. But it made it very hard to relax through the contractions.

Carol arrived at 3:15 or so and checked me. I was dilated to 7cm this time. But the contractions were so intense and I was so tired already, I didn’t know if maybe I did hope that it all stopped again. Permanent pregnancy was starting to sound okay with me.

I got into the pool sometime around 5:30 I think. I was dilated to 8-9cm. The pool helped me to relax quite a bit. It stopped my shaking. I was able to hum through each contraction, which helped to keep my focus a little better. Carol broke my water soon after. It took quite a bit of coaxing from both Carol and Jay to get me even to change positions to push. Every movement hurt, and things seemed to be going so much slower than with Tessa’s birth. My contractions were very strong, but were spaced over five minutes apart, so even when I started pushing I would lose all the ground I gained in between contractions.

After pushing in the pool for a while, Carol had me move out onto my back on the couch. I think the pool had cooled off too much and I wasn’t pushing very effectively. She and Jay each help my legs while I pushed. After several contractions of that, I moved a little more upright and pushed some more. I finally told them that I had to squat to get any pushing done, so Carol quickly set up some towels and pads on the other side of the pool and Jay supported me in a squat. Once there, I pushed through and between contractions until he FINALLY was born at 6:55 AM. Overall, I had pushed for 55 minutes, most of that time going nowhere due to the long intervals between contractions.

Max was my second shortest, but I think was my hardest birth, as far as pain and length of time pushing. I confess to being fairly uncooperative about the whole pushing ordeal, and while I was pushing on my back, I had charley horses in my thighs that cut short the pushing I could do in each contraction.

As soon as Max was out, the placenta detached, so Carol had to cut the cord right away and hand Max off to his daddy. I had a 1cm tear, which did not require stitching up.

Carol helped me up the stairs and into the shower to rinse off. Jay was busy with Max, getting a diaper and some clothes on him. While he was doing that the kids heard his little cry and rushed in to meet their new brother. (They had woken up only a few minutes before and Paisley had kept them in their rooms until she knew it was all clear.) I got settled in bed and let Max nurse for the first time. He took only a few seconds to figure out what to do and got right down to business.

He was 8 pounds, 6 ounces at birth and 20.5 inches long. He was very eager for my milk to come in and by three days old had succeeded in gaining two ounces already.

He has a very strong suck but is still having a little trouble with his latch on, leaving me very sore, especially on one side. But that is starting to slowly improve.

The kids all adore him, especially Tessa, who exclaims each and every time she sees him, “Oooh Maxie!” Occasionally tacking on, “He’s so KWOOT!”

Paper Boy

Jay found Ben (7) rifling through our National Catholic Register and casually asked him what he was doing. Ben showed Jay that there was a picture of The Incredibles on the front and he was looking for that. Jay found the movie review for him and Ben sat down and read the whole thing!

Afterwards when Jay asked him what it said, Ben replied that the review said that it was basically a good movie.

Where does the time go?

Just two more days until Halloween. I can hardly believe it. As usual, I have been mostly oblivious to it’s approach. Luckily the kids haven’t and have their costumes all planned out. I don’t know how Trick or Treating will go on a Sunday night though. With Jay having mass to sing… looks like I am on my own.

Oh, and just so you know, we DO celebrate Halloween, in case you hadn’t figured that one out yet. Our family is not celebrating anything evil, even if other people are. We are just dressing up and getting WAY too much candy. I figure the “Holiday” means whatever meaning you give it. Yes, we will go to mass and celebrate All Saints Day. But first we will get all jacked up on sugar the night before. There, that is my final statement on Halloween. I refuse to debate it.

Anyway, this was supposed to be about TIME, not Halloween. This month I had a birthday, Ok, why bother to try to keep it a secret, I am 33 this year. Does that still count as “Early Thirties” or does that put me in the “mid-thirties” range? Doesn’t matter anyway. I feel like an old goat waddling around with this enormous belly. (Blessing though it is!) I have been noticing my hands lately. They have changed so much over the years. No ammount of moisturizer will ever bring them back to what they were, nor should it, I suppose. The skin looks so much thinner, my knuckles are getting wrinkly, and the veins pop out. I can remember as a child sitting in church next to my mom and tracing her veins on her hand. Now my own hands look like hers. I have mom hands. That is certainly not a bad thing. I have several little people around who love to hold my hands and rub them or just fall asleep with them placed on their backs. So as elderly as they may look, they still suit me just fine.

Fall Festival Fun

Just when I thought the height of rudeness had already been reached…. I run into Sue (Not her real name).

Yesterday was our fall festival, and by and large we had a really nice time. It was annoyingly hot, but fun anyway. Except for the comments. Going to the fall festival entails running into (and having to actually talk to) people I can successfully duck away from after mass. They, of course, feel the need to comment on the size of our family and how THEY are DONE. (Unless they are older, then the comments are usually mostly friendly and the worst it gets is “So, any day now?” Uh no.

So Sue starts a conversation with us by telling Jay what a beautiful voice he has and how his singing just makes her mass so much more prayerful, etc. Then she starts in with “I can’t believe you are having another one…” and before we can respond in some positive way she continues. “Since my husband and I know for sure we are done… we DO want to be able to go on a vacation without the kids someday… this is the year *I* get my tubes tied and boobs done!” (She even grabbed her boobs for emphasis.)

Jay’s response was “Aw, that’s too bad. ” in a sympathetic sort of way, while all I could do was to allow my eyes to glaze over and wish I was on vacation away from her.

Anyway, here are some of the horrible judgmental things we DIDN’T say:
– Do you share your mortal sins with EVERYONE, or just us?
– WE think that God would be happier with a new baby in the world than with having your boobs look better.
– We like our kids much better than vacations. (Most of the time)
– We felt that way too once, and Thanks be to God we were able to reverse our mistake.
– Sticking our fingers in our ears and singing “La, la, la, la…” really loud.
– Um, Sue, we didn’t ask if you were having any more.

Now I know that all families are not required to have as many kids as we have. We feel called to it ourselves, but why do people feel the need to divluge intimate details like this with us. We NEVER ask!

(And Sue was the THIRD person that day to tell me why/how she was “done”… and I had only been there for two hours.)

Oh and one more thing, one mom of five almost redeemed everyone else with her compliment. She said, “Oh, Jenni! I see that you two decided to go for number six! Congratulations!” First, she assumed that we did this on purpose, second she said congratulations without any reservation. But then as a mom of five, I am sure she had BTDT!