Author: admin

It’s the Little Things

That pile up and take me down. I handle big things just fine (well, mostly!)

1. the night before last, max was up from 1am-3:30am. Jay was out of town, I weathered this alone and got up at 5:30
2. Last night, Max woke up every 1.5 hours. All. Night. Long. Jay was exhausted from his trip out of town and was heading out of town this morning, I handled this one alone.
3. took the kids to school this morning, got home to a surly teenager who thinks that homeschooling means laying around in your jammies playing game cube all day. Got a gallon and a half of lip, slammed doors, and outright refusal to do chores.
4. got a call from the school nurse. posy has the stomach bug. Went to get her.
5. returned home and started to make banana bread because I can’t stand that swarm of @#$% fruit flies around my counter any more, wash bananas, they seem fine, mix bread up, realize there are no eggs.
6. as I am about to head out the door to get eggs, the school nurse calls again. Yep, Ben has it too.
7. I go get eggs, throw BB into oven, load up again and go get Ben.
8. I still have not managed to fold laundry from three days ago, and can’t wash anything else until the folding is caught up as there is no where to put more clean, unfolded clothes.

If my banana bread doesn’t turn out, I may just dive off the roof. I am losing it, truly losing it. None of that even sounds like a big deal!!!! Why am I freaking out? Lack of sleep?

Just Another Day in Paradise

Ben is reacting to Amoxicillin. The kids told me on the way to school that he was covered with a rash. So I took him in to the nurse who wasn’t there. I decided to take him home since he might be uncomfortable and I wanted to get some benadryl into him.

I got home, called the Dr office who told me NOT to give him the benadryl just yet, but to bring him in and let them check the rash. No point in putting him down as having a allergy if it is something else, right? Still, that makes for an 18 mile round trip (yes, I counted it out!) at $3.15 per gallon (in our gas guzzling, 11 mile-per-gallon van) for them to tell me what I already know: penicillin allergy. And poor Ben. He has to miss Buck-a-Jean-Day for this. (He doesn’t seem terribly distraught; he settled right down into watching Dragon Tales without a lick of complaint.)

Max, that precious, happy, jabbering, baby-signing toddler, is standing on my last nerve when it comes to night time and sleep. Last night he resumed his Head-Butt-of-Love routine, giving me a bloody lip in the middle of the night. I think he blasted Jay too, but I am not sure since I was trying REALLY hard to pretend to be asleep so Jay could deal with him for a bit. (Not that he ever shirks that duty, he shares it pretty equally. But hey, I was injured, right? Don’t I get to sit on the bench for a little while for an injury?) So I consider again the idea of sleep training. But to be honest with myself, I can’t give up the rocking and nursing to sleep. It is such a peaceful, cozy, cuddly time. Except when it’s not and Max decides that even though he is drop dead tired he will fend off sleep until either his last drop of energy is spent or mine is. Then it is not so fun.

Paisley has decided that barring any formal, planned family activity, she has no use for being home, except maybe to do her laundry and dump some papers on the table. Is it really in the Teenager’s Bill of Rights that they should be allowed to go out any time there is not special family time planned? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Some kind of limit needs to be set. Especially since the rides are still coming from us. Jay and I will have to discuss this one. I think we might have some time to sit down and do that in August. Maybe. In the mean time, surly, fit-throwing teenagers don’t get rides anywhere. At least not until their attitude changes and they do some chores. Lots of chores.

James was offended that he didn’t get TWO full days off of chores and school work for his birthday. When I informed him that he was luck he got ONE full day off he exclaimed that I just didn’t understand. You betcha I don’t. I don’t claim to understand any of this anymore. Was I really this difficult? (Oh yes and then some!) But he has cleaned up his attitude a bit since then. Removing all privileges does that to a kid. Then add in the carrot of getting to spend the day with Nana (who will probably buy you lunch) and it’s all good again.

Let’s see, who have I not updated on yet? Tessa and Posy! Tessa is so very FOUR and spends all her time playing doll house and begging me to play it with her. But when I play doll house with her it is really just me playing doll house for her entertainment. I have to do all the talking and figure out what the characters are doing. She just sets up the scenes and tells me when it is morning and night. I worry that I am misshaping her idea of play by my doing this, but what is a mom to do? Never play? There is just always some way to worry about them and some new way to wreck their lives and send them into permanent therapy later.

Posy is busy and getting more grown up every day. She is 11 now, and if I remember correctly it will be sometime this year that I will look at her and she will have changed from a little girl to a young lady overnight. For now, I just cherish these last few moments of being smarter than she is and of her being willing to play and do childlike things. The hourglass is running out on childhood for her.

Me, I have just been trying to get enough done around the house to justify sitting down to some scrapbooking or rosary making. neither has happened in forever. This past week has been a gathering up of all my homeschool books and getting ready to sell them. I have no idea where the funding for catholic school will come from for next year, but even if that doesn’t work out I don’t think I am going to homeschool any more. It just became too much for me and I wasn’t doing a good job. I am NOT of the mindset that poor homeschooling is better than public schools. Homeschooling was good for our family while it lasted and then it just wasn’t going to work any more. Selling the books is my way of letting go. Mostly I feel good about it but there is still that panicky feeling of burning that bridge behind me.

Poor, hard working Jay. Summer has set in here with our first official 100 degree day. Since he works outside the first couple of weeks are always the hardest for him. 100 degrees doesn’t actually describe the conditions he works in, since the official temps are taken in the shade over grass. Jay actually works in the sun over concrete or asphalt. It is so much hotter for him. We have stocked up on Power Ade during that last sale but that is small comfort to him, I’m sure. But still he will suffer outside every single day so that our family can eat and live in comfort. Thank God for his sacrifice!

Ramblings on a Monday

Thank God I was in some kind of a good mood yesterday and had some kind of a sense of humor. I might have killed someone otherwise.

James watched the littles while I ran Paisley to school. Both Posy and Ben were home from school with the newest malady yesterday: high fevers, tummyaches and sore throat. (Please let it not be strep!!!)

I dropped Paisley off and headed to Sprouts to get some fruits and veggies to snack on. Fry’s Grocery store was on the way, and Jay had asked me to stop by and pick up more Powerade (on super-duper sale, and he needs a lot through the summer months since he works outside in the scathing heat of AZ.) So I go into Fry’s and lug 51 bottles of the stuff up to the front, pay, and put them in the car. As I am loading them, it occurs to me that I think I paid too much for what I got. So I sit down in the driver seat and go over the receipt. Sure enough the register didn’t discount *31* of the bottles. (For a difference of almost $31!). So I go back into the store and bring it to the cashier’s attention. He is very nice and gives me a refund. I head back out to the car to find…

My keys are locked in the car.

Thank God I didn’t have a bunch of the kids with me or someplace to be right after. BUT, this is also a day where Jay is working all the way across the state (literally!), so he can’t just bring me his key. So a call to a locksmith, 45 minutes, and $80 later, I am back on my way.

Now all I have to do is get through a Tuesday: a new dishwasher is being installed (Yay!!!), a softball game, and a surly teenager who is acting like an unruly toddler will keep any boredom at bay.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a nice dental appointment where I can sit in the waiting room for a while and read a magazine in peace? 😉

Gems from Tessa

The other day Tessa asked if God lives in our bodies or if we live in His. I told her that God doesn’t have a body because He is a pure spirit. She answered that He must live in all of us then.

Yesterday Tessa was visiting at a friend’s house. The mom asked her if she wanted to watch Toy Story. Tessa’s reply was, “Um, that is kind of BOYISH.”

Belated Lenten Resolution

This category has sat unused too long. I am going to try to give up reading the newspaper over breakfast and read the daily readings instead. Then if I have some thoughts, maybe I will post them, maybe not. Celebrity Gossip and the comic page are great, just like sugar cereal, but it is time for me to move on to something a little more stick-to-your-ribs, like oatmeal. I am sure the daily reading will stick to my heart better than the comics too.

So anyway, today the first reading is most of chapter 13 of Daniel, the story of Susanna, one of my favorites: Daniel 13
The verse that really struck me today was about the attitude of the men that accused Susanna:
vs. 8-9 When the old men saw her enter every day for her walk, they began to lust for her. They suppressed their consciences; they would not allow their eyes to look to heaven, and did not keep in mind just judgments.
They not only started to feel things that could lead them to sin, but they encouraged those feelings in themselves. Now lust is not what I am dealing with but I know that I have done this myself.

I remember once when my younger sister was about two. My mom told her not to play with something; I don’t remember what it was. But my sister took that toy and went and sat behind a folding chair and started to do just what my mom had told her not to do. The folding chair was blocking my sister’s view of my mom, but of course we could still see everything that she was doing. My mom pointed out to me that she thought we couldn’t see her because she couldn’t see us. Many toddlers behave this way. If you play hide and seek with a very young child, sometimes they will just lose their eyes and think they are hiding. Only because they can’t see you.

I think we can be like this with God. The verse said “They would not allow their eyes to look to Heaven” Since these men were no longer looking to God (and couldn’t see Him) they behaved in a manner as if He couldn’t see them either. God is not the Celestial policeman, but He is looking out for us because he has better things in mind for us.

Lord, help me to keep my eyes on you and not direct them at other things intentionally or accidentally. Oh, and please help Paisley find my camera. Amen.

Dare I say?

Could the illness be over? Everyone seems to be on the mend, although Jay’s doctor called two weeks AFTER the thick of his illness to tell him he had pneumonia. Uh, thanks. Paisey was hit with the stomach flu last and then she had her trip to Mexico to build houses just a couple of days later. I hope her stomach feels better! The puking seemed to only last for a day but the rest of us had messed up tummies for over a week! It just sounds like a miserable way to feel when you don’t have even a real bathroom. But Paisley insisted she was well enough to go…

Max has a new FACE that he makes every single time we try to take a picture of him.

All he has to do is hear the camera beep, and all traces of a normal looking kid are gone and are replaced by this super-cheesy fake smile.

He is also up on the whole digital camera thing and expects to see his picture on the back of the camera whenever his picture is taken! Kids understand technology WAY faster than anyone else!

Max is able to sign Please, More, and Eat, but he adamantly refuses to do any other signs even though he knows them, responds to them and will do them in his sleep. I guess pointing and grunting is working too well for him!

February: The Month of Illness

Bah!!! When will all this stuff be over? Max and Tessa and I started the month with a rip-roaring severe cold. After a week of misery, I took the two littles to the doctor to find out that Max had a double ear infection and pneumonia and Tessa had an ear infection. (Thankfully though, this is the first ear infection for both of them!) Antiobiotics for both of them, along with lots of cold meds and other goop. Mine turned into a sinus infection and I had to go to the doctor. More drugs.

Then Jay came down with it. High fevers for over a week, plus coughing and other nastiness. This is a man who doesn’t mis work unless he is at death’s very door. He missed a full week!!! Off to the doctor for him; more drugs.

Meanwhile Max broke out in a rash head to toe. The doctor confirmed it was a penicilin allergy and also mentioned that one of his ears was more than not-healed, it was much worse. So we have been in for antibiotic shots for the poor guy twice and hav to go at least one more time. The poor baby; the shots hurt so bad he can’t walk for over an hour after he gets one.

I think we have spent as much this month on doctor bills and medicine as we did all last year!!

In better news: James gets his braces off!!!!

January: The Month of Change

One year has passed since our fire, and what a year it has been. The last claim has been submitted and with the last check (Oh, when will it come?) we hope to put this chapter in our lives behind us. We lift up our eyes and look towards the future finally and not on what has happened in the past. We can take stock of where we are now and not where we were before the fire.

James is still dealing with some pretty severe depression. He is being treated for that. I have also had to reevaluate who I am and what direction I am going, and so have been in therapy myself.

We decided at the beginning of this month that Posy and Ben really did belong at their school. They started attending again in the fifth and second grades. They are very happy there and we think that our time of homeschooling is coming to a close. They are so happy to see their friends every day, and I am very relieved to have the complete burden of their education off my shoulders. Homeschooling has been a blessing for our family. But we always said we would do it only as long as it was the right choice for our family. It no longer is. So we move on.

Paisley is doing great! She has one of the leads in the school play, Bye Bye Birdie, this Spring. She is sharing the role of Kim with another girl. She has moved into another honors class and is getting fabulous grades.

Tessa and Max miss Posy and Ben during the day. But we have had some fun on our own. Tessa’s favorite pasttime is to play dress up. Max’s is to climb and dismantle anything in his path. He has learned a couple of baby signs now: More, please, eat, nurse… we are trying to teach him more, but he is pretty stubborn!