I’m an idiot. Let’s just put that out there right now. I’m overtired and didn’t know what I was doing, wandering in to the loose leaf tea store. But the sample was so yummy…
When we were at the mall last week, Jay and I tried the samples. They were so good, but we didn’t go in. I resolved to go back another time and buy some tea. Jay wondered aloud how such a place could stay in business in the mall. Well, I’ll tell you how.
How silly of me to think I could walk into such a store and just “buy some tea”.
I was at the mall, just me and Gus making a brief trip to pick something up and I sampled the tea again. I told the pretentious hipster sales boy I wanted some of that one, right there, so he accompanied me into the store.
I should have known I was in trouble when his first move was to try to sell me a $100 cast iron tea pot “for the health benefits”. Ahem, no. I just want some of that tea, right there.
So he tried to sell me a porcelain one for only $50. My tea ball at home was just so lacking you know, it wouldn’t let my tea brew properly. I began to waiver. But no, that is way too much still. I just want my tea. Yes, I am pretty sure I just want the tea.
His next step was to show me the one cup tea maker thing – only $20. “And see? It lets the leaves swish around and expand, not like a tea ball.” He practically had to choke out the words “tea ball” they disgusted him so much. Ok, fine. Give me that one.
“Well, would you like this one here? It can make more than one cup and is only $10 more?” he asked. Now I was really starting to get annoyed. No, I wouldn’t like that one.
On to the tea counter. Now we have to talk about canisters. He tells me he can put my teas (because the tea I sampled was two teas – of course it was.) into large canisters ($7 each) or small ones ($6 each) and he’s scooping tea into them as fast as he can and I am seeing my money just oozing out of my wallet, and I’m starting to sweat.
He tries to sell me a full pound (to get a 10% discount!!) and I breathlessly tell him, no, just stop scooping and give me my tea!
But he’s not done yet! Oh no! Then he tries to sell me German Sugar Rocks. And that was one step too far. I tell him no and am about to scrap the whole thing, but what’s this? He’s already rung me up. How did that happen? As I go to sign the credit machine, I growl out, “Don’t you sell tea in bags or anything? Do I have to buy a canister each time?” And he tells me that they have bags, but they are not air tight. But it’s too late and I am seeing red so I don’t even remember that I have these special airtight bags at home called ZIPLOCKS.
So I take my fancy tea and as I retreat out of the store in total defeat, he calls out, “That should make you 150 to 200 cups of tea!”
And I wonder what kind of responsible sales person sells someone who wants to try something 150-200 cups worth.
One who just got a big commission evidently. This was definitely a case of “Shopper Beware”. Teavana, you will never see another dime of my money.