I’m grouchy and I don’t feel like writing.

Here we are, halfway through the week, and what do I have to show for it? I haven’t touched the laundry that needs to be folded, I’ve got snot trails on my shoulder, and my 3 year old is watching Barney on the kindle. Thank you, God, for Barney. I never thought I would say that!


But I promised myself I would write on the blog once a week, and the rest of the week is looking hectic. I don’t want to write, but I want to have written, so here I am.


It is hard for me to quantify my work around here. If I am always moving forward, all I see are the jobs not yet done. But that is not fair, because I have been working since before the sun came up! I’ve taken to writing things on my to do list after I do them if they are not already there. Then I still get to check them off. It’s amazing how motivated I can be by a simple X on a paper. But my to do list is not just about putting X’s on things completed, it is my rudder that steers me through my day, it keeps me moving towards bigger goals than just getting the dishwasher loaded and run for the first time of the day before 3 pm One of those goals this year is posting here once a week. So today you are stuck with my surliness. Enough about things done and to be done.


Next up: turning things around. This post is completely uninteresting right now. I wouldn’t want to read about someone else’s grumpiness. So let’s look at other things: right now in my home, Paisley is outside unpainting her furniture, getting it ready for her new apartment. Molly is, as I said, quietly watching Barney, and Gus, having woken from his nap, is back to sleep in my arms, nursing. It is not so easy to nurse a 26 pound sack of potatoes and type, let me tell you. It is lunchtime, but it is quiet right now, so lunch time can wait.


Ah, quiet. Can you hear it?


Nevermind, it’s over. Now Gus is awake and clapping with his fat little hands, sitting in my lap. He wants down from my lap, then he cries because he didn’t want down after all. Barney is over and Molly wants peddit butter and honey. We all love the way she says peanut. We avoid saying the word ourselves because we want this moment to last as long as possible. This moment when she speaks so clearly and still mispronounces specific words, it is so brief and so precious.


Today has to be about fat little fingers, toddler mispronunciations, and grown up children moving on with their lives. Sweet and tiny, big and important. And then the laundry is just a thing… it will always be there. These others are fleeting, gifts just for today.


Maybe I am not so grumpy anymore.


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