Well Friday came and the LIST was supposed to be to us by four. at 4:15 I called and asked. They said they had emailed it to me. I didn’t get it. They (Valleywide Fire and Water Damage Specialists) were not in the office and said they would get it to me as soon as they got back. I called and nagged a few more times – not letting them sneak off for another whole weekend after all, and they finally faxed the list to Jay’s work.
There was one more portion than I had received over the past few days. Bring the total to a whopping 143 line items. (Some lines contained multiple items, but STILL!!!) Did It really take them 5 days to type up a list of 143 items? What the heck are they doing with our stuff?
So, predictably, I sound myself freaking out about it again.
But I calmed down and tried to figure out what the deal was. Why do I need to have this list in my hands? Why is it so urgent?
Ah…. it is all about closure. I want the final tally on the distruction so that I can deal with it and move on. But once I realized that was what I was looking for, it quickly slipped through my fingers. The list won’t give me that. Only a painstaking evaluation of all of our stuff BY US after we receive it all back will reveal the final totals. THE LIST will not make anything final, it is really only a starting place, and a poor one at that.
I can live with that. I just had to know if it was over or not. And, well, it’s not. We are still almost at the very beginning of this ordeal. We have had some down time in the rental house to recover and calm down, but now as we receive our belongings and move back into our home the real work begins.
I feel much calmer knowing what is ahead of me, even if it just means that I know that I don’t know what is ahead of me. Why couldn’t they have just told me that in the first place?