The last three years I have picked out a “virtue” or something that I want to work on in myself. The first year it was Peace, last year was Diligence, this year I have picked Sacrifice. I know that those aren’t really virtues per se. But it is easier for me to simply remember one little word and renew my focus.
I chose sacrifice this year because I suck at it. I am horrible about giving things up and I am horrible about keeping my focus on God instead of the small stuff in my life.
This year for Christmas, Posy gave me a painted wooden heart that says “Mom” in slightly lopsided letters. It occured to me that each day my life makes a gift to God. Sometimes the best gift I can give him looks more like a black-marker-scribble on a piece of scrap paper, some days it is a painted, lopsided heart done with the best of intentions, some days I manage to churn out a masterpiece. But my masterpiece days are few and far between. I have more lopsided hearts. But the important thing is that I am offering it to Him as my gift, no matter how imperfect. If I get frustrated and throw away my work I am just spinning my wheels, getting burned out, and not doing any good.
So in these days of not getting anything done but holding a baby and praying that the other kids don’t kill each other or our house collapse from mess, I have to remember to make the best effort I can and offer it freely and lovingly to my Father in heaven.
I hung the heart that Posy gave me up in my bathroom, where I wash my hands after every diaper change. 🙂 So I will see it and be reminded of it many times a day.
I would love to lose weight, handle money better, be a better homeschooler, mom, wife, and friend. I don’t intend to neglect those things. But when I lose my focus this year I will picture that heart and remind myself that I need to be a living sacrifice.